Meeting with Mojo, Chicken Director and Holy Man.

Today, I was forced to attend one of the Mojo (monkey) review meeting. Seems like the zoo director is very interested or ‘concern’ about how Mojo work in the lab. So, today meeting attendee is holy man, Mojo, zoo director (Chicken) and me. The conversation was hard to describe but Mojo seems to be enjoy teasing by Chicken director.

(Bear with me about how I put those words because only Mojo understand it – not human language.)

Chicken Dic: Blah….Blah (On phone call with another bunch of idiots). Sorry I have another meeting.

Holy man: Today, Mojo will present what he has learn for past few months

Mojo: Good morning evvveryoneee….Today is Mojo early review…Here is the slide.

1. Inspect peanuts, check whether the peanut bigger than my ball.
2. Learn to open peanut by using hand instead of forehead.
3. Try on different peanuts. Peanut from dissimilarity regions do have different characteristic.
4. Taste the peanut. Errrhhh…..A bit salty….Oh I taste my own peanut….sorry.
5. Cross section of peanut, to check any worm inside or not.
6. Compile a report about peanut from all regions.
7. Understand how to plant peanut and use ‘own’ peanut.
8. Work with other groups of monkey, share about how many peanut he had (mostly likely not more than 2).
9. Spend average 12 hours including weekend to open peanuts.
10. ……………
11. …………………

Things to improve:

1. Plant another peanut under Mojo. The bigger the better………..
2. To understand the structure of peanut.
3. More Mojo….more……
4. Import more peanut from Africa, as it looks more ‘reddish’ compare to other region.
5. Improvise version of open peanut using armpit.
6. …………………………………….

Chicken Dic: So this is all you have learn for past few months ah……

Mojo: Yeahh….I have learn how to check peanut as this is my favourate……(looks proud)

Holy Man: Yes, this is what he have done so far.

Chicken Dic: How many peanuts you can check for a week?

Mojo: Errr….About 40 ~ 50 peanuts …..fourrrty or fifffty average per week.

Chicken Dic: 40 or 50 peanuts???? So a month you could have done with 160 or 200 peanuts…..(In his mind only 1 thing came out – Are you NUTS!!!!!!!).

Me: ………..(Me keep silent. Mojo is in insanity mode now – Bull shit all the way).

Holy man: Yeah, approximate that number. He will just do a basic visual check. ( No idea, just bull shit along the way as well).

Mojo: If I don’t whatz wrong with my own peanut, I get yellow-green doctor to check it out.

Chicken Dic: How are you sure the yellow-green doctor is true about their ‘diagnosis’?

Mojo: I perfoooorm check before get them to do it………

Chicken Dic: Now I give you a situation. Let say, the yel-green doc told you the peanut were not salty enough. What will you do?

Mojo: I will plug the peanut into my butt and then swallow it through my mouth. This is to proof it is tasty. At the same time I will ask them to plug more peanut into my butt….

Me: ………(Whaaahhhh....speechless).

Chicken Dic: May be you haven’t face this type of situation before, so you couldn’t gave me an answer but I believe your peers do have this type of experience.

Holy man and me nodded. The chicken director is not stupid, he understand how the games play and still continue to have fun with Mojo.

Holy man: Mojo also trying to figure out what other monkeys needs as well.

Chicken Dic: Compile report for other regions…….

Holy man: Now he still not good to compile because was mess up by his predecessor. Monkey see and monkey do.

Chicken Dic: Mojo, I probably assume you should know how to do it after few months from now. Okay, do you know how many good peanuts you got now?

Mojo: ……….(No idea…blank screen and begin to check with own peanuts).

Chicken Dic: You should know how many peanuts you got. Else why should I feed you?

Holy man: Mojo will learn to how to do it.

Mojo still looks blank screen………..

Chicken Dic: Hah…you spend average of 12 hours to open peanut. So, when will you able to shorten it till 8 ~9 hours.

Mojo: Mayyyyy bee sick month later (6 months).

Chicken Dic: So when will you able to understand peanut structure?

Mojo: Mey be 1 yer later ( 1 year later)

Holy man: No lah……he probably needs another 6 months to understand all this.

Chicken Dic………………………………………………………………

Mojo:…………(keep bull shit and no one else understand what the hell his is talking about).

As the conversation goes, it seems a little unfair to everyone; too much of shelter given and little of kick ass from Holy man. I have already lost interest about this discussion. Bottom line, keep silence and let them finish it without any violent happen. No guns, no bomb, peace. The whole conversation last for an hour. The most ridiculous thing, after finish whole this stuff Mojo still keep his idiotic smelling face…….

Ohhhhh my god, lend me a thunder and strike him hard……………..