27 pilih menjadi angkasawan Negara

I do love my country, is such a warm and peaceful country that live with different races. People and weather are warm and everyone was trade equal and fair. This was long long time ago and no longer in 20^th century now.

I watch the late night news that mention about 27 was being select as astronaut to travel to space. A few was show of during the recording, it happen some how only one typical race was selected for astronaut. This was rather a shock!!!!!!!!

As our country use this kind of tactic most off the time, when there are something that good for them and want share they will say; must go equal. If something that offer from the country, they was said they have the privileges to be the first choice. Although I don’t trust Indian but I do believe their capabilities could even better compare with those ‘PIG’ and ‘POR CHOP’. Now they are sending 27 pig and pork chop to outer space got no idea about what happen there. May be they will think any alien may lost in the space and will ask for direction to reach mars??????

Alien: I’m lost in space. Could you tell us where is Mars?

Pig: Mars ah? I think may be go straight 150km/h then you see a junction. Turn right and go straight until you see something looks like ‘bola merah’. That is Mars.

Pork Chop: You want Mars kah????? (She bring Mars candy and gives to alien at the same time durian also).

Alien: Thank you. You people are very kind. I should tell my kind to visit your planet.

Pig: Come come……you are welcome…..we got the tarik and also roti canai.

Pork Chop: Take the durian go with you. This is our country precious gift.

Alien: Thank you and bye.

After all those conversation, alien take off and go as the direction given. In the ship, 2 aliens find there is a problem about the direction. Problem 1 is they don’t use speedometer in space, 150km/h will probably equal to speed of turtle if compare to light speed. Problem 2, junction in the space?????? This is another ridiculous joke. So both alien decide to take a break after all they are lost again.

Alien 1: Fuck up astronaut @#$%^&*. Give us a wrong direction, some more pretend to be a “Mr & Mrs know everything”.

Alien 2: Cool down man. Lets take a break, we got Mars candy. I take half and another half for you.

Alien 1: Let see what those ASSTRONAUT gave us.

Alien 2: Taste good not bad but is just too sweet……I think may be they eat this too much end up all fat like a animal that round in shape human called……ahhh…ahhh…mmmm….AHHhh..yes…..PIG.

Alien 1: Yap…yap..yap….you are right. I could notice it from the space suit they wear. Like a ball that full with gas.

Alien 2: Let see what is this yellowish stuff???? Let me unwrap it…….Soft…soft ahhhh…..(almost finish unwrap the whole thing).

Alien 1: Damn it…….toxic gas…..toxic………..

Alien 2: Fresh air…..errrrrrr…….fresh air…….fucking pig send us some bio-weapon…….

Alien 1: I’m die-ingggggggggg…….errrrrrrhhhhhhhh…..

At the same time alien 2 press the rescue button and send the signal back to there planet to rescue, may be is a signal that do them a favor ‘Revenge’.

This will not surprise that our country will be attack by alien. They will zap-zap…..all those walking pig….zap…zap….pork chop……

What I could say is, I rather request them to send a ‘MONKEY’ from the senate rather then ‘pig and pork chop bro’ to the space. As monkey will still only offer alien bananas and tell some lies since they are good politicians. Our country booooooollleeeeehhhhh……….for what?????

Bottom line, don't get me wrong I still live my country.........errrkkkkkk......

My Neighbor

I got a bunch of neighbor that could consider 'si pat poh', 'si pat kong' and 'lap sap jong' and also the 'lan hou' queen=curse all time. (Read all this in contanese). Let me elaborate one by one.
The Si pat family:
There are 3 generations stay in a house. The grandfather, grandmother, the husband and wife & her 'cacat' brother last but not least kids and 1 fatty kid as well. It looks everything OK if they keep their month SHUT and ZIP IT UP. The grandfather and grandmother are like human satelit, they will receive and transmit signal non-stop to the atmospere and other 'si pat poh' and 'si pat kong' will be the human repeater and modifier. Nothing to do and busy with other people stuff, who cares? The grandfather the worst, all time act like 'big brother'. This is the effect after watch too much of hong kong underground movie. There is married couple, the husband and wife busy everyday work non-stop to sustain the family because they got a huge family that do nothing and sit down wait for god to help them. The grands got another kids (I think should be around 25 years old), he can't speak a think and I doubt he can't think properly as well. This is orang keupayaan, but the other way round his handphone is all time better and expensive then you and me. He smoke, drugs, fuck a chicken and everything you can name it. I call him cewbaker 1, he can only know how to speak 'woooor...rrrrr...woooo......OyeeeeeeOOOOO'. You will have a very headache when he open his mouth.......since he can't speak a thing. There are 2 kids, both are little devil and even they can't speak but they use to yell in talking. The kid, little fatty and girl, little chewbaker all time fight and shout. I think their school teacher may face the same problem, think both of this children are just retarded and send them to tanjung rambutan. The little chewbaker can cry non-stop, 1 day cry 3 times and everytime 1 time is louder than each round. Fucking hell......keep the mouth shut......the parents will yell at the kid. The kids, little fatty can describe as jar jar bink. Throw rubbish anywhere and every where and all time liar..........They got a command habit, throw rubbish as they like........By they way, forgot about fishmonger family. They pay the visit to both grands. All right, they are produce from the 'same factory', so they use yell to communicate with each other.....OOOOOIIIIII......KIIIII SEEEE LAHHHHH............
The little green man family:
They stay the same level with chewbaker family. The mother is nightclub ma ma san and the father is gangster but got 'buang negeri'. They got a few kids, little devil. The mother won't care much about the kids because work at night and sleep in morning. The little devil will trow rubbish to other neighbor house except their house........Fucking hell habit.... I have screw them twice and their friend. Their friend yell from one corner to other in order to 'talk'. Brainless speices do not know they can talk smoothly, so I screw them hard........They got no idea how all people stay there hate them. They make people piss.......
The 'Lan Hou' Lady:
This lady got not much problem if mouth is keep shut. Once the mouth open only curse word will came out from her mouth. 'Kui kan lah lu....chow chi bai....lan chioa.......'. If you filter out all her curse word, basically the content is just about left 20% to delivered and 80% is curse words. 'Chi bai....the lan chioa guy fuck me hard last night....and my chi bai feel no good today.....'. She looks like a low grade whore................
Conclusion:
Heaven would fit you, the socialty do not need you, I thinks hell the best for all of you.....