Fixing Part of the House

Friday night return home, discover like volcano has burst near my house. The reason of having this feeling is because…..shit…..full of dust…..The sucker that do the job is just another sucker. Personally I agree that most of the hard job was not easy to carry out but at least keep it clean…FUCK…..this is what my feeling is for the whole night. The whole thing was just messy and terrible. The job probably will carry out for another few days. Is only 1 guy to do all this jobs, I think they don’t want to give ‘share’ to other people. To me this is just suck……………….Beg you sucker, finish the job fast and get lost.

Lunch time refreshment

Sunny in the morning and heavy rain after work.
As usual having lunch with a bunch of buddies, somehow we have a short discussion during lunch time. The topic of discussion is, characteristic of So Pao. Here is it:

1. He got a ‘recycle bin’ type stomach and pretty good appetite. He able to eat out all the trash unwanted or expired goods example mooncake or break, even he want to share to food with everyone. The keyword here ‘expired’. He is second recycle bin next to city council.

2. He can talk and laugh at his own, really lunatic. You will find the topic is not interesting or just rather doesn’t make sense that he open discuss. The kind of laugh you may find ‘interesting’ something like a crow….oooohoohooohooo.. Keyword again ‘lunatic’.

3. He got very thick face or skin characteristic. When you were just piss off with him, kick his butt hard or poke him, he can’t feel a thing. Shit, you will think that you have just talk to a tree. The keyword here ‘tree’.

4. He is big in size and tall like a ‘tree’, something like bear but nothing just another stupid bear. When you talk to him, he will stare at with blank screen looks on his face. Probably there is some hard time for his heart to pump the blood all the way to his brain, he need to visit heart specialist. Keyword ‘blank screen’.

5. He attends more training than everyone else. I think in this society is matter of learning and contribution. He is the best of everyone here just learn and still act like a tree. We suspect him may be he is under cover MIA, CIA or MIA worst case iraqies……

6. If he ask you go for breakfast or lunch time, he may sometime have some type of contact that you feel like begin sexual harassed. He likes to torch especially people tics. If he tries to does it on me, I will make sure his arm will separate from his body.

7. He is very interested in learning ‘fa lun kung’, to me may be is ‘fuck loo kung’. I don’t condemn people because of his hobby but he is exceptional case. According to him, if you have learned till the highest level, you can fly. Your can hit people from miles away, so called ‘chi’. Everyone may think not ‘chi’ but ‘cibai’ Holly jolly.


Conclusion:
This object is hazardous worst than avian flu, ICU is waste of money. Burn to ash is a must. So if any one met the above characteristics then you could be so pao good buddies or just another so pao on earth. Another name could be…….JERK.

Just another weekend

Rainy day. Is weekend today, no much ativitist somehow. So I declare to have 'nothing to do' day, yeah...is just basically I do not want to do anything today. Somehow, my 'jar jar binks' decide to distrub me. This jar-jar binks think of going out of state but as everyone know, note was different. It need to change some of those local notes. No problem at all except ask me to drive this 'jar jar bink'. I feel like kicking its butt. What I think is, it born with genetically diorder and hormones are ragging. Don't ask about logic, for sure 1+1 = 3!. Jerk...........I'll have mine count down, we'll see.........blast you.

So Pao Past life

Back to office got a short message leave by KS. Day without ‘dysfunctional’ so pao is so good, peaceful day. At least would hear those laugh expression like ‘woohaaaa’, gosh nobody will feel good about this. His smile sound like mixture of camel, dog, horse and frog and sometime is like hyena. After log into that page, the title seems to be something like check what is your past life.
To me this doesn’t matter, the only thing should everyone concern is ‘this life’, who care you are beggar, killer, millionaire or king/queen in your past life. Obviously, I find it was fun, I decide to browse through the page. The page was built in simple and easy look; you do not need an idiot guide for these. I try out mine it turned out to be something like if you are garbage man then probably will be chief of garbage because you are good in planning and bla…..bla….bla…….. This was hilarious, it doesn’t matter garbage man or chief garbage; bottom line you are just rubbish. Errrrr….really garbage.

I decide to check on so pao last life. It turned out to be something likes this (I have edit partial of the message);

So Pao Past life check:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were tree in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of Bangladesh around the year 19xx.You have no profession. You are apparently born as a tree. Natural thick skin does not need to apply any sun lotion (remember you’re TREE). Apply shit will make you grow vertical.
If put fire under butt, the tree will ‘fly’ like a plane and armpit will be ‘ultimate’ bio weapon.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life: Inquisitive (nosy), inventive (imaginative, may be not), you liked to get to the very bottom of things like why buttocks smell like dead fish and rummage in shit. Basically, you prefer bullshit and trash. Talent for drama, natural born actor (win oscar best trash actor) and thick face. Even shotgun does have hard time to blow you up. With a magician's abilities, you could have been a servant of dark forces.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:Hard to change the attitude because genetically as tree.

Conclusion:
Physically and mentally still maintain as tree and think like a tree. Before come to new life only 2 roles were given by god; amphibian or cow. You prefer become cow. Somehow the cow owner have an intercourse with the cow, end up you are half human and animal. Sap-ha-sap-ha….. …The born of SO PAO.

Beast war: Attack of the So Pao

Like usual day, I’m there to check my work progression. This was basically got it from so pao ‘kuncu-kuncu’. I have a short discussion with Alice, the women from wonderland. She got a very serious kick-ass by so pao, she will probably take time to recover. Alice always had an innocent look.

Me: How are you? Are you alright?

Alice: Just having a serious cough. It’s OK.

Me: Take care of yourself. Make sure no blood spill out when you cough.

We having a serious discussion for an hours and decide to call off.

I decide back to my base and finish some un-done business with so pao ‘kuncu-kuncu’. It was not a big deal.

What I do not know is the show was just begun. I saw so pao approach me when I walk off from my base. So pao know his ‘sap-ha-sap-ha’ phyco attack will not having any effect on me. What he decided to do is physical attack. He use his paw and try step on me but not successful.

Me: What the fxxk are you doing?

So Pao: You had taken some of my stuff. When you wanna return those stuff?

Me: Hey wise guy (stupid pao), stuff was return to your kuncu-kuncu.

So Pao: Bla…bla…..bla…bla……

On that time, everything comes out from so pao mouth is just like shit. Could any one imagine, shit could probably come out from his mouth rather then asshole. May be he is really an asshole. After all we have a fight. In term of kung fu skill between so pao, skinny tiger and fat dragon, so pao was the best among them.

So pao do have a very…..very tick skin cover whole body. Do any believe this????? It covered till his face…..oh my gosh….

I take out my lightsaber and have serious fight. After a few minute, fatty leng and skinny tiger pass by saw the fight. They knew they can’t match on the skill, they decide to ‘abandon’ so pao. I manage to cut so pao body but somehow his skin was too thick, really thick……I change my target, his head. It was useless attack, thick face…….Plan B, take the lightsaber poke to his ass buuuuzzzzzzz………Yes…yes….the smell of ass burning……could you imagine so pao somehow enjoy it……When I retrieve the lightsaber, something was spill out from his asshole…….hhhhaaaaa…..toxic waste…..Lucky me, just got some minor injure this doesn’t matter. So pao somehow understand that he couldn’t win this fight, so he decides ‘retrieve’ for this round.

So Pao: I will be back………

Me: Nahhhhh………………….

Later, I back to the council and report about the attack from so pao. Piuuuuuu…….So pao the fight is just a warm up….

The story of LENG, HOR and PAO

*This story is special-ly dedicated to 3 of these ‘beloved friends’. Please leave any comment if you found this page. Best regard from E-vil editor.

Long-long time ago, there was PAO (leopard) come into society. Everything to him was just so fresh and new. He fell everything was just so nice and peace, people are good (some of them are born to be e-vil just can’t told). This PAO was a wanderer. Always wander around and go every where, may be we can say he is some type of animal with spirit of adventurous with no value. But I still want to name it as ‘SO PIAO’.

Later the HOR (tiger) come into picture. I still remember tiger was basically a type of cat but this tiger was worst than a cat, I could only imagine monkey will suit him the best. No matter how, I still like to call him as HOR. HOR have funny character, smile as he like and talk like grand mother. By the way, HOR got a very short memory. He could lost his important memory after time past. May be the memory having permanent defect in early build. Those sound like o-e-o. HOR like to act and close character to PAO. This had made them good buddy. Know why????? Both of them are from the same great-great-great grand mother. Normally label as ‘Cho Kong sama-sama kucing’. So the HOR and PAO together they wander around, some they hunt and sometimes got hunted. To me I think they always got hunted, bull-eye…….or…headshot…..whatever you can name it.

Not for long, the LENG (fa long) shows up. It looks a bit cute (I feel dead when I wrote the word cute…errr), and like lady looks. The LENG was somehow smart at the first place. He keen to learn and want to learn everything new. The problem arise, when the HOR and PAO come into LENG life. PAO secret weapon was kind of lethal because this is mental attack. It can cause normal human/animal turn into the same character like him. Normally we call ‘sap ha sap ha’. At first, the PAO try to be good with LENG. After observe for sometime, PAO launch his attack to LENG. The PAO weapon is to mentally brain wash the LENG. LENG was not prepare on that time and what he could hear is; look into my eye….look into my eye….you will be come sap ha sap ha….….look into my eye . The LENG struggle hard but not hard enough or may be the power has double since HOR join into the group. PAO and HOR launch a final deadly attack to LENG. The fight end up LENG KO from the ring.

This round is LENG was exhausted and brain wash by this 2 stupidous creatures on earth. From the eye of LENG, you can see sap-ha-sap-ha. This type of damage normally took years to recover and you need jedi type of spirit to get rid of that. The attack will first damage your common sense and nerve. The symptom is you can talk to yourself and laugh at your own. Pretty scary hah….. Poor little ‘fa LENG’ become one of their gang. The dark-age has begun………The society has named them as LENG, HOR and PAO…..

*I was almost laugh till death when write this article. It really humiliate of this 3 characters ‘LENG, HOR, PAO’ and the worst part is so call mental weapon ‘sap-ha-sap-ha’ that has no cure. I wonder dark lord, darth vader, Anakin, obi-wan, qui-gon, senator palpatine, sith loard, r2d2,c3po, yoda the little green man, jar jar binks and the last but not least cewbakar always hooohaaarhoo. Mmmmhhh........

Monkey see, Monkey do

Having lunch with buddy, KS outside. We decide to go some where close cause hot sun, feel like burning.....haaaaaa....After reach designate place having some chit-chat later a friend of KS would like to join for lunch. Every goes smooth, till we saw the LENG, HOR and PAO.

*Let me illustrate what is LENG, HOR, PAO. This is not Hong Kong type of playboy magazine but if they appear in that magazine I can for sure 1000+ of people will be in ICU and suing the company for expose ‘hazardous’ material.
Leng=Dragon, some called fat dragon (feh long).
HOR=Tiger, labeled as skinny tiger (sioa fu).
PAO=Leopard, should call him as stupid leopard (so pao).

Fucking hell...man...we are so lucky that we saw the PAO, big time joker. They sit on the other table that a group of ladies sit in between our and their table. Piu……uuuu……..
Later, KS friend show up. She wear white shirt something like ‘see through’ type. We introduce ourselves and get her order drink and food. The ‘sioa fu’ from the other table show me some excited sign like first time adam meet with eve. I gave him the sign of monkey (hoohooohooohahaharr) and nah (ooLoo-my middle finger). I smell the bazookar fly and ka-boomm, fry the 'sioa fu'.
Sometimes people are just so excited to meet with ladies. I just got no idea about it, may be this is some kind of deceases that affect the brain and some affect the ‘kotek’. They should seek for medical advice in term of mental and physical. God 'blast' you.

Road user ethic

Like every morning. Enjoy your drive and also this is a happy sunday. Every thing was so good till junction. A stupid 'Kancil' was fitted in 4 big fat assholes wear in white shirt drive like the road was belong to them. May be their grand grand or great father/mother own the road. The good part of it this car was basically belong to driving instituition. This make me understand now a day, people are so 'care-less' on the road since their 'SIFU' was driving 'satu macam' so the rest should be the same. Believe it or not, if the source is shit no matter how good the tools will be it will produce shit also. I can quote an example; photocopy machine. If I got the best class photocopy machine but the document was stick with shit, I don't think it will print out something good. If you can't drive ask somebody else who can drive, the good thing is if you got kill your 'team member' will goto hell with you but my concern is no body beside you want to go heaven in early stage.
Bless you, white 'KANCIL' fitted with 4 big fat ass jokers. God will forgive what have you done BUT not others. Amen.

Car theft

Wake up this morning, though is a good day. Go for banking to settle all money porblem.......In good day just rainy. After get down from my car, I notice it is good to grab an umbrella just in case rain. I goto passager side and I notice my car lock was damage. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!! WHO THE FUCKING HELL IDIOT DID IT TO MY CAR!!!!!! So many luxury car but this stupid guy choose my car. End up I call up my guy get him to fix it.......The theft, I guess his last life was a mouse and this life is a theft. I'll curse you eternal life...damn........PAKAYELU.....
Sucker, grab my little doll that was a free gift and also my shoes...........errrrrrr......That is expensive......

Talking to a tree Part II

This was happen at the same day after having breakfast with my 'belove tree' this morning. I was working in the lab and test out software function in system. Half way of testing, somebody knock the door. I notice there are 2 ladies outside ; 1 of them has work in the company for sometime and the other 1 is new gals. Both of them are from the so called 'CIA' department. Know-lah, those jokers I don't give them a damn. Both of them got no shape and not attractive at all. You might need to wash your eye after look at them.
Below is the conversation;

Me: Anything I can help you?
CIA 1: I come here to do some audit.
Me: Have you thold this thing to my boss? I didn't received any mail or notification?
CIA 1: I have send it out to whole group but most of the time got a problem the mail can't to you guys.
Me: Really???????It must be company server problem. (Bull shit, kick your own ass)
CIA 1: Where can I check the part?

She basically ask me to show her the direction. Joker.

Me: Can you look for Michael to help you?
When I point to Michael, a 'potato' was just walk through in between. They though the 'potato' was Michael.
Me: No....no, that is Michael.

Michael body sign, shake his head. It some how mean he does want to entertain them. No problem. I'll do it. After I bring them to my BOSS table, I show them the part they can check on that.

CIA 1: Is this all we can check?
Me: Isn't this is what you all do most of the time. Then what you want to check? (I got no interest to check your butt)
New CIA: You don't know what we normally check 1 meh? (Sound like policemen, like she is the most powerful women here)

I suddenly got piss off by this fucking hell 'New CIA'.

Me: Whatever your function is not my concern but yours. You have to know what you do NOT ME TO TOLD YOU WHAT TO DO. DO YOU GET ME? (Damn it!!!!!)
New CIA: (speechless.............)
CIA 1: Errrrrr, we are here just to do verification.
At first yu told me an audit now you told me just verification. Idiot, try to twist and justify for her action.
Me: Ohhhhhh. justification......Is it done. Here is all the label you all have done. No standard 1 hah.
CIA 1: Can you suggest us any improvement.

Your own porblem cannot resolve some more ask people to give you idea. Damn. Then I jsut blar....blar...blar......blar......Bottom line I give them a hint. DON'T WASTE YOUR AND MY TIME HERE. YOU HAVE WASTE ALL MY VALUABLE TIME. This people are just not effective in working.
After all I ask thm to leave the lab and bye. Yeah we support green peace but not this type of 'TREE', they are really walking dead. Tiu nah singh!!!!!!!!(Read in Cantonise)

Talking to a tree Part 1

Sort of late when woke up from morning. After all when I wake up is about 35 mins late from the schedule time...........damn man...damn.....You see brush teeth, bath and make sure your bottom is clean too (;-P) in light speed .......zap.....Drive like mad goto if any speed trap should happen but you will only know after 30 or 60 days since our so called 'local enforcement' damn efficient = turtle speed of work force. Whatever somehow didn't bother about it.
After all reach company 'safe'.....land man....land.......carry out daily routine, being non-productive wasn't easy for me especially have to delete those 'valueable' mail generated by smart machine called 'PC'. OK, just few step will do. Hold the shift key and right click the mouse, the important point here 'Press Shift+Delete'. Poof, is just like magic delete everything......hahaha....

I got a very funny guy to have breakfast in almost everyday morning....... This guy physically looks like human but actually I think he is a TREE. Or may be his last life was a tree may be worst MONKEY/COW cause he got good appetite. He just could understand what ppl saying, laugh and talk to himself. Damn man, just crazy......Worst part is today he just sit opposite of me when having breakfast.....WHAT THE HELL....I'm polite person somehow else I will told him; This chair is reserve for human being not for plants or alien, kindly look for your kind. Big time joker....I have to suffer for at least 40 mins there.......During breaktime same thing, everyone was going to break and he join the group. So I decide to do what jet fighter do........The missle is close....missle is close....fast...fast....press the eject button...poof...out from the plane and land safe. Thanks god. Join the other gang in the afternoon.
After all the hoo and haa for few hours in working, guest what...............END OF TODAY....YES...YES....GoodBye TREE..... GoodBye TREE.....ohhhhh....